“I am a sick, sick man.  Not only am I consumed by hatred, I am delighted by it.  I have done some checking into the matter and have discovered that the world’s great religions and wisdom traditions tend to frown upon this.  Therefore, dear reader, I need your prayers…”

&

(on Duke’s Coach K’s back pain) “Now the normal human certainly would feel sympathy for a man in such pain.  But I am a North Carolina fan and by definition, at least when it comes to Duke, not a normal man”

–from the first chapter of Will Blythe’s To Hate Like This Is To Be Happy Forever:  A Thoroughly Obsessive, Intermittently Uplifting, and Occasionally Unbiased Account of the Duke-North Carolina Basketball Rivalry, written by a Carolina fan of course.